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Confessions – April

Oh friends, it is confession time. The day of the month when you unburden yourself from the silly, the crazy, and the socially bizarre.

  1. I’m not going to apologize or explain myself for this. I used to really love the show Alias. That’s right, I said it. It was a great show, and Sydney Bristow was a bad ass.
  2. We can put people on the moon. A doctor used a tiny probe to go through my mom’s leg, up her trunk, and injected chemo in to the tumors in her liver. We now have tiny handheld computers that we walk around with and most of you are reading this blog on your own smartphone. And yet…no one has figured out how to make a freaking fleece jacket that when zipped up does not bulge right at your midsection?!?! No one needs/wants to look pregnant while staying warm and cozy.
  3. In December, we received a call from Jack’s school, informing us that he had won an award and would be recognized at an all-school assembly later that week. To receive this award, kids had to be good citizens, work hard, and contribute positive attributes to the class. Troy and I were both able to attend, and we were so proud of him. As we left the gym, we walked past Jack’s kindergarten teacher, and I gripped Jack’s certificate, held my head high, and just smiled.
  4. I always wonder how the makers of tea designed to help you sleep, seem to ignore the fact that tea before bedtime would make me get up 14 times to pee. Instead of my usual 10.
  5. Once when we were at a local grocery store, Troy saw they were giving out cheese samples. He took a bite and turned away from the sample table. I watched him grimace and choke it down. Well away from the sample person, he told me the cheese tasted like the collar of an old man’s jacket. To this day, I can’t look at an elderly man in a Members Only jacket without bursting out laughing.
  6. Dear makers of safety seals. THESE ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO REMOVE.
  7. When I was in high school, I worked as a receptionist at a hair salon. I wasn’t a giant dork in high school, but I wasn’t cool either. I had lots of friends, went to community college part-time, and was in ROTC. Pretty much a well-rounded nerd. So, when the super popular kids came in to get a hair cut, I would tell them how long it would be until we were available, and then even though I knew who they were, I would asked their names for the appointment. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a crazy popular person look surprised that you don’t know who they are, but it was pure gold. And then to just be a bigger passive aggressive brat, when it was their turn, I would mispronounce their names.
  8. I have actually uttered the words “oh, this is my favorite mason jar”.

Alrighty folks, your turn! Unleashed the demons of silliness.

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13 comments on “Confessions – April”

  1. I literally laughed out loud at #7! People often misspell my first name. Vickie with an ie at the end. I get it. That name can be spelled many different ways. It doesn’t normally bother me unless they are responding to an email or other correspondence that has my name spelled out for them already. Every once in awhile it hits me wrong when they do it multiple times in a row and I’ll leave the last letter of their first name off in my reply. The funny thing is that often they suddenly spell my name correctly in the next correspondence!

  2. I really, really love your Confessions posts, and I actually thought to myself the other day “oh, I should remember that for a Confessions post” but naturally I have totally forgotten whatever the confessable thing was.

  3. Your comment about the tea was right on.

  4. I cannot stand the sound of someone chewing out loud. It’s always bothered me but the past few weeks I want to hurt people for this. I had to eat at a restaurant facing 2 people who both shared this affliction. Luckily it was a buffet. I ate while they browsed and filled their plate and then went up myself while they chewed their cud loudly.
    Bothering me so often I read up on the condition. Misophonia…..
    Right now…… I’m 2 rooms away and can hear hubby eating toast. Ughhhhhhhhh……
    I cannot stand the nasal drip I get in the spring. I do everything in my power to not drip on anything. There are so many people walking around w clear water just dropping out of their nose onto anything. Drives me insane.
    There are quite a few other things that drive me batty but as I’m trying like crazy to show more love, compassion and patience on a daily basis to the world at large I’m ignoring them 😉

  5. First…I just want to say how proud I am of your parenting. I too have a nerdy troublesome freaky brilliant kid and understand the difficulties of dealing with somebody smarter than you. (not that you are not freaky brilliant…I think you are) From the ages of 7 to 10, I ripped my hair out daily. Now, he’s a pharmacist with an amazing wife and adorable daughter. But it was a struggle for a while. So…know this! Jack is also an amazing kid, thanks to you and your great parenting.
    Confessions….living with 6 dogs I always blame a fart on the dogs….even if they are not in the room.
    I wear a “buff’ to cover up my white roots when my I’m too lazy to dye my hair….sometimes for weeks….
    I am a TV-aholic. I can not apologize for it.
    I am lazy to a fault. Yup…now its out there.

    • Thanks Robin. It is exhausting to go through it, but you sure do learn a lot, right?

      I’m laughing about the dog farts!! I love and adore tv so very much. I don’t watch much of it anymore, and I’m ok with that for now. But I hope life brings me back to more viewing at some point.

  6. It sounds stupid, but I am so proud of you, Troy, and Jack! I remember reading about all the problems in Kindergarten, and I am so happy for you all that things are working out!

    We are moving. Again. We specifically bought a house when we moved to MI so we wouldn’t move 5,000 times. We bought exactly what I wanted- a good enough house with lots of land that we can dabble in homesteading. Except my thyroid had other plans and it turns out I don’t really love having to be responsible for so many living creatures. So, to help me heal, we are putting the house on the market and moving into a rental something. But honestly, at this point, I just want to get rid of everything we own and buy a tiny mobile house.

    This is going to sound so horrible, but I wish our dog would die in her sleep tonight. We just found out, on National Pet Day, that she has cancer. After the trauma of almost loosing her to kidney failure less than a year after we adopted her, I don’t want to have to go through that “watch her fade” phase again. If we are lucky, in November we will get to celebrate our three year anniversary of adopting her, but it’s not looking like we are going to get that lucky.

    On a lighter note, I sort of like when my neighbors don’t make it home in time to get their kids off the bus, as it makes Emma feel super important when she gets to “rescue” them. Bonus for her is she gets some kids to play with for a little while.

    • Awww thanks Tina. I wouldn’t relive our kinder nightmare for anything, but we do feel stronger for having gone through it.

      I’m sorry to hear about your thyroid and the house. I’m sure it was a hard decision to make, but it sounds like the right one! My heart is sad for you and your family and your poor dog. Pets are such a part of the family, and it is painful to lose one in any manner.

  7. # 7 is brilliant!

  8. I have been a teacher for a long time and seem to be given bouncy enthusiastic kids often. I have to say sometimes it is hard to manage a class of little me’s.
    I was once called a “busy” child. I missed recess so often as a little human I had a designated crack on the sidewalk where I sat and played with my fingers and toes, little bugs and the occasional butterfly.
    I didn’t learn to sit still for very long, but I can teach little wiggling figures as long as they have some free movement time, often, frequently and consistently.
    Missing recess broke my heart so when I see the little lifers on the wall at recess. I stop to chat and hug and sometimes dance. I’m not trying to undermine any other teacher’s authority. I am a kindred spirit, reconnecting with my youth.

    • My mom, as a primary teacher for 22 years hardly ever took away recess from kids. Her theory was the busy/wiggly/hyper kids needed the movement and energy burn more than anyone!