Screw New Years Resolutions – try a January challenge with me
If you have read my blog for any length of time, you know I don’t make New Years resolutions – rather I prefer to set goals. Those goals are really just a “wish” of what I’d like to accomplish over the next year. One of my main goals for 2013 was to learn to make soap.
Anyway, this year I decided that instead of a 2014 goal, I was going to challenge myself to try an experiment for the month of January; no nagging of my husband.
Troy is one of the best dudes you’ll likely never meet. He is kind-hearted, straight up an amazing dad, and funny as hell. But homeboy cannot push a chair in after he gets out of it. It drives me bananas. If we were to divorce, the filing would say “petitioner says soon to be former spouse can’t push his f$&king chair in and she can’t take it anymore”.
I’ve tried asking him, I’ve tried reminding him. Hell, Jack even reminds him. Jack, our four year old – he even remembers to push his chair it! One night during prayers at dinner, Jack asked Jesus to remind Poppy to push his chair in after the meal.
Should it bother me so much? Should I just let it go? No, and yes. But here is why I can’t: because it is such an EASY thing to remember to do. You get out of a chair, and then push it back in. Simple. Four year olds can do it. If it was something complicated, it wouldn’t drive me so up the wall; the simplicity of the issue is what gets to me.
After years (YEARS) of this issue, I realize it isn’t getting any better. In fact, it might be getting worse. Chairs are never pushed in around our house, and I am starting to twitch about it.
If that wasn’t crazy making enough, Troy has this habit of going in to our closet and walking out without turning off the light. Same concept as the chair – you turn a light on, you should turn it off. Can’t do it. Gun to his head, he can’t turn off the light. And like the chair issue, this one has been going on for years and shows zero signs of progress.
I think it was about the time I made this and tacked it near the door to the hallway, that perhaps I might have gone too far with my reminding:
The other day I was reflecting on the amount of energy I was expelling to try to remind him to do such simple tasks, with zero return on my effort. ZERO.
And so, for January, I have resolved to not say one little nagging, reminding, passive-aggressive thing about these issues. Or any other little issues (please believe, there are more. Perhaps I need to speak to a professional). My lips are sealed, and while I might be slowing dying on the inside to scream “for fuck sakes, just push in the chair”, I will remain silent.
I am super curious to see if there are any results from my silence. My plan isn’t to become some insipid 1950’s housewife where I greet him with pearls and a martini and assume he is perfect simply because he so happens to be a man. Rather, it’s to try to spend the next 30 days letting the little things go.
I am sure there are things about me that drive him crazy, but my sainted husband is a bit less vocal than me!
Will our relationship around these issues change? Will my head explode? Will a single chair get pushed in over the next month? Who knows, but tune in at the end of the month for a status report!