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Confessions – January

If you’re new here, welcome! Confessions are the posts where we unload pure silliness onto the world to unburden our souls and have a few laughs.

  1. I can’t tell you how many times someone has said “oh I saw you at (fill in the blank store) the other day, but I didn’t say hi. You looked like you were on a mission”. People, that is just how I walk. I walk quickly ok. Walking with purpose isn’t a bad thing. Stop laughing at me because I’m a fast walker. I don’t judge you for being a slow walker.
  2. I just lied. I totally judge slow walkers. OMG, get out of my way. And if you want to walk that slowly, at least move to the side of the aisle. And so help me God if you’re going to be pokey, move your damn cart out of the middle of the Costco aisle. I don’t think I own the store or walking paths. But I do think we all need to pull our heads out of our own asses and realize that there are other people around us. And being a butthole and blocking aisle is a dick move.
  3. How do you sleep in pants? No seriously, how do you do that? My legs would feel like they are suffocating in the sheets and the fact that they would get tangled up would drive me absolutely i-n-s-a-n-e.
  4. I don’t understand the term “Friendsgiving”. Why can’t it just be called Thanksgiving? The day is about celebrating with those you love and being thankful for our relationships. Isn’t that basically what you’re doing at “Friendsgiving”? Why does it need its own name?
  5. Have you ever noticed that most grocery stores have an aisle label that says “International” and then another label that says “Asian”? Why isn’t Asian considered part of the International cuisine? I need to know because I can never figure it out.
  6. Jack, Bennett, and I take a daily gummy probiotic. There seems to be a pink grapefruit flavor, lemon, berry, and grape. Jack and I find the lemon boring…so that is the only flavor we give to Bennett. He thinks he is getting candy and is so pleased with himself every morning.
  7. All of the celebrity perfume/cologne ads creep me out. That one where Johnny Depp buries all his stupid jewelry in the desert confuses me. And the Gucci Guilty ads with Jared Leto make me want to immediately take a shower. My eyes feel so unclean. Out damn spot, out.
  8. I don’t get bullet journals. Is it a journal? A list? What is it?! I love making lists and taking notes, but the pictures of these I see on Instagram makes me think they are multi-purpose or something. Please tell me!
  9. I really like the movie Open Range. I don’t like westerns, but this movie is fabulous. Starts slowly, but holy smokes it is fabulous.
  10. When I was in sixth grade I played Tonya Harding in a school talent show. Boom.

So.unclean.

Ok, there you go! Your turn. What do you need to get off your chest?

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58 comments on “Confessions – January”

  1. I too want to know the answer about the bullet journal… I just don’t understand.

    Confession: The Blunstone boot trend annoys the life out of me.

  2. I missed Confessions so much! I’m glad it’s back!!

    Here are mine.

    1. I judge slow walkers too. Unless you’re walking on the right hand side. Because (in my mind) that’s where the slow lane for all forms of motion should be.

    2. I think people who don’t put their shopping carts back should be fined. Heavily.

    3. If I never ate another vegetable in my life, I would be completely content.

    4. I think most TV is a waste of time, but can get lost on the Internet for hours…

  3. I’m happy to see Confessions too!

    1. Stop judging me for swearing – I don’t swear in front of your kids. Swearing is just semantics–saying oh snap, sugar, oh stuff is the same thing as saying “oh sh**!!! Get over it!
    2. Dinner is a relative term sometimes. Let’s face it some days dinner is great and some days I am just lucky if the kids stuff some of the food into their little pieholes!!
    3. Please stop texting or yakking on your phone in the middle of I-95 because doing 45 in a 70 mph zone in the left lane makes me want to run you down!
    4. Yes (I too) am on a mission when in the grocery and out and about, and just because I am 5’1” doesn’t mean I can’t haul ass down a sidewalk or a grocery aisle!
    5. Please stop sending all the kids on the block to my backyard every day that school is not in simply because I have more children than you do! Enough already! Take turns people, take turns!!

  4. When I was sitting in a particularly boring Civics Class in high school (1973 or so. I’m sure Civics class is much more fun to participate in now a days) I learned the alphabet starting with “a” and saying every other letter.

    Upon becoming proficient with that string of the alphabet, I then Did the same thing beginning with the letter “b”.

    30 years later I can still recite the alphabet in this manner!

  5. My husband chewing (the sound of him eating) is driving me insane. Like I make my phone ding a message from work and leave the table to get away crazy!!
    I hate people constantly sniffing and snorting their nose this time of year. JUST. USE. A. TISSUE.
    People salting their food without even tasting it.

  6. Never heard of a bullet journal. Agreed about the “walk on the right” ppl. And I tell my kids – who are teens now – “walk behind me or ahead of me, but no beside me. There are ppl who want to pass and you are not alone in the universe.”
    Ew what is up with Johnny Depp. He is GREASY. That is NOT sexy. Take a shower and wash out that grease and SHAVE. Grunting at me is not SEXY.
    I secretly wish I could just slam all the wavering cars on the highway whose drivers are texting – ala bumper cars. I don’t wish anyone injury. I just want big dents that are expensive on the side of their cars and no harm to mine (in my magic world). Great big, ugly, dents. Oh, with spray painted, “I was texting when I should have been driving,” on the rear of the car. Hey, it’s my magic world.

    • He is the greasiest!

      I also have fantasies of just pushing cars out of the way. No one gets hurt but it feels so satisfying while my car gently nudges them.

  7. Yes to fast walking and impeders. Gtfo of the way!
    On Friendsgiving, I’m going to say for me, that Thanksgiving has always been with family. We have zero family nearby now, so calling it Friendsgiving maybe is a coping mechanism to work through some disappointment that it just isn’t the same as the years of yore?

    My confession: just now realizing after living here for 18m and being completely clueless my entire life up until then that where I live is considered the least welcoming metro area to the Black community in the country. That’s white privilege, folks. I honestly didn’t know. :-/

  8. I love the confessions are back. I wish I could bullet journal but I’m too much of a perfectionist.

    1) My husband gets zoned when he’s driving and will sit in the left lane. I think he thought that just because he’s going above the speed limit, he belongs there. My head will follow the cars as they pass us (on the right) until I’m staring at him.
    2) I hate when I’m reading something with someone and they start reading out loud. I’m way past that part. Just stay in your head.
    3) I really want to learn how to sew specifically to repurpose other garments to make clothes for me and my daughter.

    • I don’t suppose your husband would consider letting you drive? Or would accept being squirted by a bottle of water (you) any time he spaced out?

      • Lol! Having a squirt gun is quite the temptation. Stop putting ideas in my head. I like to read while he drives and he is an excellent driver otherwise. My foot is a little heavy when I’m on the interstate.

      • I mean it works for cats, right? 🙂

  9. Old people and stupid people at the grocery store make me crazy. The ones that park their carts sideways in the aisle to walk away from it to go look at something. Seriously?

    Yeah, I don’t get a bullet journal. I’m not a journaler. Those are called notes.

    School activities that start at 4:30. That may have worked in the 50’s when parents didn’t work but hey, I have this thing called a job. Same for workout classes only offered at 10 am.

    • Very right about the start time for things. It’s ridiculous.

    • I worked from 7:25am – 4 pm at my last job and I worked 45 minutes away from home. I would work late 1-4 times a week and the largest employer in my region would release their workers onto a two-lane road right when I got off of work. I swear on days when I had to be somewhere for Jack’s school at 4:30, my butthole would be puckered the entire drive home just trying not to die.

  10. 100% pants to bed. No dang way
    100% get out of the dang way. I have pushed my kid out of my way. Just a nudge and death stare. Not full force tackle, although i wanted to.

  11. Confessions is back!
    1) I totally agree with the slow walkers…. also I live in a metropolitain area with a lot of escalators, and the worst are people who stand right after the escalator to “try to find out where to go”. Dangerous. I will push you people.

    2) whats wrong with my 57 year old coworker who tries to explain computers to me. Like the kind of explaining you would do to a kid. Do I tell her that just because she talks louder and is more annoying that I still know the answer? Or leave her in her blissfull ignorance? I am lost.

    3) My kid who doesn’t stop talking. I am so glad christmas is over and he can tell 40% of his word diarrhea to his kindergarten teacher.

    4) my husbands man-flu is dangerous. He had it since Christmas Eve, and tells me in detail about it every day. He might die. It might be from the flu. It might be from a pillow on his face.

    5) I think Bullet Journals might be for people who want to draw a design with 5 colors around the term “take the trash out”. Procrastination on paper.

    6) I still can’t get over people using “u” for you, “4” for for…… It hurts my eyes. It makes me want to defriend, unfollow and generally find a way to slap somebody in the face through the phone.

    • I so hear you on the kid talking and man flu. It is enough to drive anyone insane!

      • Please, at least pretend to listen to your kids at home. I’m a teacher and when I ask about the book I just read I get a 9,000 word dissertation about boogers, the dogs making little puppies or a youtube video of stupid human tricks. I have a class full of tiny humans and I cannot possibly listen to each one of them tell me a story each day.

      • A quote from a post two weeks ago. 🙂

        “Troy saw some quote a few months ago that said something along the lines of “if you don’t listen when things aren’t important, they won’t tell you anything when it is important”. And we constantly remind ourselves of that as we are listening to the 400th hour of the merits of creative mode versus player mode.”

        http://sustainablecooks.com/scattered-sundays-meal-plan-23/

  12. Bullet journals are kind of whatever you want them to be- most people use them as their annual planner but since you are creating it, you can also use it as an actual journal or to make lists. This website explains the “proper” way to use one, but once again I think anything goes! I used one last year instead of a traditional planner, went back to a traditional planner this year and now kind of wish I just bullet journaled again because I like being able to dictate how my stuff is planned I guess!

    http://bulletjournal.com/

  13. haha, it’s because there is just too much “asian” food to share with the “international”. :o)

    I live in Chinatown, so we don’t have either of those aisles. But then it’s impossible to find things like marshmellows.

    • Not here in “honky-ville”. The Asian section in my local store is pitiful. But we have loads of marshmallows and junky shit. 🙂

      • Hahahaha!–“Honky-ville”! I was always annoyed when every.single.school.registration.form asked me/us for our race. It killed my kids that I would always check “other” and write “honky.”

        They lived.

        I’ve almost always had short hair, though, and I only recently found out that a popular question asked of my children in HS was, “Is your mother gay?”

        And now, as adults (both over 6′ tall), if one wears jeans and a sweatshirt, someone will almost always think she is a man (big blue eyes, beautiful fair skin and lush brunette hair half way to her tush), and the other, a very willowy blond girly-girl (she is a sales manager for a beauty products department at a well known high end store) just got mistaken for a man a few weeks ago. It’s annoying.

      • That is amazing!

  14. Oh wow, I am SO WITH YOU on the slow walkers. And I AM a slow walker (cause I have short legs which equals short strides) but I learned a long, LONG time ago to just stay to the right. Then the fast walkers can get past me. This, to me, is common sense/common courtesy, but yikes, no one seems to know it.

    Confession: I eat when I’m bored. I know this. And yet it’s still a struggle to not STUFF MY FACE all the time in the winter when there are limited things I can do (for health reasons).

  15. 1) i sleep in pants because my legs stick together when I get warm. BLECH.

    2) Bullet Journals are super customizable and I didn’t get them either before AT ALL. Finally, I practiced in a cheap notebook for a few months, read some how-tos, and now I have a very fancy/pretty one for personal stuff, and a very utilitarian/just the bare bones of information one for work. It’s so much more than a calendar and a to-do list. I really suggest giving it a try and don’t get intimidated by the Bullet Journal Artists. It doesn’t have to be beautiful to be useful to you. My mantra for 2018 is “Perfect is Boring” and BOY are my journals imperfect.

  16. I can\’t imagine NOT wearing pants to bed!!!
    Pyjama pants, not jeans or anything. They don\’t get tangled. How would that even HAPPEN. Do your pants get tangled during the day? How do you stay warm if you aren\’t wearing pants? I\’d freeze! Nightgowns hike up through the night and end up around my waist, so that is not an option. And shorts are for warm summer nights.
    I agree with YJ. There is a lot of \”Asian\” food. Enough to fill it\’s own aisle. Where I live, we also have other sections (naturally, I can\’t think of a single one….) and I guess everything else that doesn\’t have enough for it\’s own special section falls under \”International\”
    I was looking at something about bullet journals the other day. They make no sense to me.

    • Sure I wear pants during the day, but I never lay down or cover myself up with blankets. 🙂
      I prefer to be super cold when I get in bed. 365 days a year, I wear a men’s white tank/undershirt (“wife beater”) and underwear to bed.
      We only have a small Asian section in my local store and that makes me sad. It is my favorite cuisine!

      • I was grocery shopping yesterday and I noticed a “Mediterranean” section, an “Indian” one and a “Portuguese” section. there are more, I am sure, but those were the ones I noticed. I was also (separately) in a Chinese store too. They have SOOOOOO many interesting items I have never heard of in there! (and a lot of their veggies are cheaper?)
        Also, I don’t know why my last post has all those slashes in it. I hope this one isn’t the same.
        Good thing you and I don’t share a room/bed at night. We would NOT get along! Me in my pants and t-shirt, covered up to my chin, with a afghan over my feet! I prefer to be toasty-cozy warm! 🙂

      • Wow, I wish we had all of those options! #smalltownshopping

        We would be terrible bedfellows!

  17. 2. Add to the list those folks think it is a good idea to congregate in the middle of a grocery isle or at the end of it. And those folks that stop to review their receipts just before, and smack dab in the middle of, the exit doors.

    7. Who amongst us didn’t appreciate Jared Leto circa My So Called Life, but I am not a fan of this androgynous look. Johnny Depp just looks like he could benefit from a hot bath, a haircut, a shave and less jewelry. Neither he nor Jared Leto are aging well in my opinion.

    • YES! Just be aware that there are people around you. I want to start an Instagram account called “Assholes at the grocery store”. I’d blur out faces but would love to shame people for their terrible cart etiquette!

      I would love to attack Johnny Depp with some eye makeup remover. The eyeliner over usage hurts my soul. Troy used to be in the film industry and had a friend who was treated horribly by Jared Leto on set (just acted like a complete asshole; nothing illegal) and so I haven’t liked him for years.

  18. I missed this!
    I’ve always had an addiction to planners (total nerd) but there was always something about the set up of the planner that annoyed me. When I discovered bullet journals, I was hooked. With the exception of when my brain was recovering from derby, I’ve been using a version of bullet journaling for a few years. I’ll post something about it on IG.
    Ok, my big confession. I want to pack the truck, take my dog, and just go live in nature. I deeply love my hubby and kiddo, but I’m tired of being on the job 24/7/365. And I feel like a shitty person because of it.
    On a lighter note, slow walkers- agreed. At 5’1″ I’m pretty quick and I can weave through a crowd like a snake, but slow walkers just need to move it.
    I can’t wait to leave MI. We have made some great friends here but I miss the smaller town living and some variety in the landscape.

    • Where is your next station assignment and when does that happen?

      The idea of living alone in peace and quiet is so appealing. I feel you!

      Tag me on the IG post please!

      • We are here for another year, maybe more. We won’t find out until 3-6 months before we leave, so November-ish.

  19. Sarah–you make me smile!
    Slow walkers and slow drivers make me crazy too. Stay to the right people.
    Also people with there phones having personal conversations on speaker. No one else needs to hear it.
    Loud music in the car. Your music of choice does not need to be heard by everyone else!

  20. I should start a running list of things that irritate.

    My husband eating celery or cornflakes within earshot will do for now!

    Re Bullet Journal…. I started in October and it’s developing nicely. I spent all my adult years searching for a diary/agenda/calendar to suit and always had millions of note books and bits of paper with lists. Now the whole lot is in one book and I’m getting much more organised.

    When I started though I decided that my mantra was to be ‘Perfection is not an option’, as my BuJo (they don’t say BJ for fairly obvious reasons – snigger) isn’t an art work, it’s a functional item in my armoury in Getting Shit Done.

    Soooooo I have pages for my calendar, room to put in customer appointments ( I run a garment alterations business from a home studio), a list of current work that I have to do, meal plan (master meal plan in the back) Freezer inventory, errrrmmmmmm list of stuff I am waiting for such as hearing back from people, ordered items coming through the post. Got a daily jobs list and am going to try and sort out a weekly and monthly one as well.

    • We were talking about breakfast at work, and someone thought I could lighten my morning routine by “just eating cereal.” I told her, no, it wouldn’t work for us because everyone would have to eat in a different room. Just say no to public cereal-and-milk eating.

    • I love that BuJo is the appropriate acronym for the bullet journal!

      So I adore setting up to do lists and things, but does making a whole calendar for an entire year get exhausting?

  21. 1. I also am a fast walker. My husband more so….we have the same leg length. He points this out when we walk. But his torso is like a ladder and mine like a stump…..this is my excuse. I get the “come on let’s go” from him and “geez slowdown” from everyone else!
    2. Always parked carts in the middle of the isle! WHY!!!!!’ I want to steal them and put them in a corner somewhere! Like this is your time out you jerk!
    3. Sleep pants in bed! Yeah! I’m Canadian….leg hair, and flannel sheets are not enough to survive the winter.
    4. What the hell is “Friendsgiving”?
    5. Up here we have an international isle but each type has its own subcategory not just Asian.
    6. Lemon is not boring!!!
    7. …….there are no words for what I just watched
    8. Bullet what? It’s becoming increasingly obvious that I live under a rock.
    9. A rock. I once played the roll of the Candy Kid in a high school musical. It was a western.
    10. Seriously I would have loved to see that play!! Were you able to capture her sheer determination?

  22. *Since your post about ibotta, I’ve been addicted to the app. Since July, my lifetime earnings $217.97
    *I also feel sorry for people passing on the right as my husband drives “fast enough” in the fast lane. So I make sure to tell him every time they give us the finger as they pass …I try to hide my face.
    *when my husband doesn’t take the packed lunch/dinner (he works second shift) I made him, I don’t cook dinner that night and mention that there is STILL (whatever) in the fridge from the day before. And I’ll eat a bowl of cereal. Cooking and cleaning takes time so you better eat that####!
    *I have eaten my lunch with my fingers on several occasions in my car to avoid a coworker who won’t shut up EVER. and read all my emails in my car. Basically anything I can do in my car from where I can punch in on the time clock app on the WiFi.
    *I wear big pink headphones and pretend to be listening to music on my iPhone at work- also to avoid annoying coworker.

    • Isn’t it the best? Wow, you’re crushing it with the rebates. That is so awesome!

      I love, love, love the fact that you eat cereal to prove a point to your husband. So great.

  23. I think my comments covered some of the things that annoy me.

    My husband thinks way too many things annoy me. I think he’s unconscious a lot, so….

  24. Oh, oh, oh, WAIT~ Yes!

    I am tall and walk fast. How on earth is it that people who walk behind me walk on my heels (otherwise known as “giving a flat”)?!? Seriously — just give people a bit of space! And it only happens to me. I will be walking with my family, all walking briskly together and the same pace and someone will give me a flat!

    I’ll sign off now, so I can think of more things that annoy me.

    It won’t be hard. ; )